Tags: sooo tired

Exhaustion

Wow. I haven't done such crunching since college... I just finished my BigBang after a frantic 48 hours. That's right, I started and completed it in two days, with two hours to spare, and a lot of stalling. I'm actually really proud of what I have written. I'm super excited to take a break, step away from it for a while and then come back to it and tweak it. Sure its not the longest thing ever, but its all mine. So awesome to have completed. If the mods ok it, that would be even better. :)  Wow. This is totally awesome.
oh noes!

The things you learn

Today I was reminded of a few things. One: that at times I really love teaching. Two: some times I really hate teaching. Three: life is just freaking weird sometimes.

I've got a job subbing in the same class all week. Third graders. Known as "the class from hell." This class is so... awesome... that every sub before me has put in a specific request to never be put in that classroom again. They're... challenging. They talk and they talk and they talk and nothing stops them. They don't really behave for anyone but their regular teacher.

So here I am yesterday, my first day in the class and what happens? They were almost perfect. They stopped talking. They did their work. Even the specials didn't have a problem with them. They were awesome (and very much not in a bad way). It was nice. Really nice.

And then I came back today. .............. Yeah. Complete opposite. Talk talk talk talktalktalktalktalktalk............ OMG. Seriously. Then there was the delinquent. Who was gloriously absent Monday, was back today. And boy did he fight me every step of the way. Not doing his work, talking, noises, moving around, blatant disregard for authority, and just mean at times. And its like the rest of the class went insane. I don't even know. I'm still twitching.

Yeah. So teaching can be immensely rewarding and I love it to death a lot of the time, but then there are days like today where I end up wanting to just stop and not do this anymore. I really love teaching, and I know that everyday is different and every class is different and that its not all roses and sunshine, but really? Really? I almost think that I'm going to end up one of those teachers that burns out after a year or two. And I really don't want that, because I honestly love this, but I can't deal with days like today if they're going to be every day.

And so here I am, having a truly frustrating day, and I look at my phone on my way to my abreviated lunch (I sat with some of the kids while they had lunch because they wanted me to) and I look at my phone, and I've missed a call. Guess what? One of those millions of freaking applications I've been sending out got a hit! I now have my first interview!! For a k-12 job. Its rather exciting, and kind of ironic considering how much I was freaking disliking teaching not five minutes prior. Woo?  Life is just funny I guess. And that's a horrible cliche, but rather true.
attention

seriously?

Seriously, I want to punch anyone who talks to me in the face. I have been up since six in the morning and I won't get to sleep until tomorrow. Whoever decided it was a good idea to sometimes work two full time jobs is an asshole. I just want to sleep, but I have to go to work (again). Eight more hours. I'm apparently aiming for a 16-17hr day. Anyone who is even remotely happy for me that I got to substitute today will get snapped at. It is not fun being a sub. It is not fun to work eight hours and then work another eight hours. I am running on a donut, a mini bagel and maybe 8oz of tea. I get exactly... 20 more minutes of" downtime" before heading to my steady job. Kill me. Seriously. Its not worth it. It will never be worth it.