Fic title: Do You Want the Truth or Something Beautiful?
Author name: vampireifurita
Artist name: mulanreflection
Genre: Gen, Wincest
Pairing: Dean/Sam, some background Castiel/Sam, Castiel/Crowley
Word count: 26,732
Warnings: horror, disturbing imagery, violence
Summary: After Sam sacrificed himself to save the world; Dean had gone to Lisa just as he’d been asked. Things had been just fine until he started hearing music that no one else could hear and things just go downhill from there. With no one to turn to, bear witness to man lost at sea, in the throes of grief and unexplainable music that haunts him much like the memories of his brother.
A free download she had said. Just a random song that she had thought she would try, unthinking, unknowing of the consequences. There were no consequences to downloading a song after all. What could some music hurt? He chuffed out a laugh at that.
She’d been listening to it on a loop for four days now, addicted to this new song. It had only taken one play through for him to take refuge in the garage with his car.
Locked in the garage, sequestered away in his own little corner of the world, he tried to forget everything. He took in the shiny black chrome of her body, the silky leather of her seats, and the shine on her windows. She truly was a beauty, a modern marvel, a work of art. He lamented that he had spent so much time away from her, hiding as he had in the garden, trying not to let himself be reminded of things that he would rather keep locked away. So he polished her rims, vacuumed her seats and wiped down her windows. Even though he was sprucing her up, he made sure to leave her the way she had been that final day, with all the clutter she had accumulated inside of herself. The work was soothing and could almost block out the lyrics echoing throughout the house.
~Junebug, I remember everything ~
He caught sight of the soldier stuck in the door, the memories lodged within this solid beast of a car. This lumbering giant could suffocate him with memories of death. Nights he had spent on the hood stargazing, nights spent sleeping in her seats, the countless wounds that had bled all over the upholstery, the arsenal in her trunk. So many memories wrapped up in one single car, such an important piece of his life that he had been avoiding. There was so much that this car meant that he did not want to remember, the wounds still too fresh in his mind.
It wasn’t as if he weren’t trying to move on. He was trying so hard to love her, to be a father to her son, just as he had promised. He was trying to build a life with them, trying to replace what had always been his life with something that had never been his dream. It wasn’t getting easier, if anything it was getting harder. This life was suffocating him, always reminding him of what he had lost.
~And that was when I loved you best
We were kids then, we shouldn’t think about the rest. ~
He paused in his ministrations. This was killing him. The affection overpowering his senses. Memories of days spent in the backseat of this car, messing around, playing childish games, anything to while away the time. Nights spent curled up together in the back seat or in a hotel bed. Wide smiles and trusting eyes flooded his vision. Happy laughter echoing in wide open spaces on the sides of the highways and byways that split this country into pieces, a life that had been separate from the rest of the world. Happier times. The car had been a constant even as they had changed. He had never been more in love with someone until he was all alone.
~I was the home you once tried to escape, the dark in which you live. ~
When he had left all those years ago, it broke something deep inside himself. He had stepped into the light of his potential and had left him behind in the dark without a backwards glance. But this time was different. There would be no opportunity to watch him from afar, no chance to drag him on a quick case, no way to ever see him again. There was nothing. No way to save him, no way to see him, no way to talk to him… nothing. There was nothing. No life together, no meeting in the life after. There would be no rest, there would be no reuniting. He would eventually die, after getting everything he had never wanted and spend eternity travelling down a back roads highway in an empty car, searching for something he would never find. For the first time he would have to deal with the knowledge that his brother, his everything, would suffer in the fiery pits of hell at the hands of Lucifer himself until time itself ended, and there was nothing he could do to change it.
The knowledge that this revelation brought to him knocked him off his feet, his knees giving out as he collapsed to the floor beside the only thing he had left.
~I remember everything. ~
“Dean? Dinner’s ready!”