vampireifurita (vampireifurita) wrote,
vampireifurita
vampireifurita

  • Music:

Wasted

Fic title: Do You Want the Truth or Something Beautiful?

Author name: vampireifurita

Artist name: mulanreflection

Genre: Gen, Wincest

Pairing: Dean/Sam, some background Castiel/Sam, Castiel/Crowley

Rating: R

Word count: 26,732

Warnings: horror, disturbing imagery, violence

Summary: After Sam sacrificed himself to save the world; Dean had gone to Lisa just as he’d been asked. Things had been just fine until he started hearing music that no one else could hear and things just go downhill from there. With no one to turn to, bear witness to man lost at sea, in the throes of grief and unexplainable music that haunts him much like the memories of his brother.

---------

He was speeding down the interstate, weaving between cars on this road trip to hell. Mindless to the blaring horns, heedless of any cops, he was driving as far away as possible. He had left her days ago, and yet he was still adrift in this world that hurt too much to bear. She had been his anchor to the world, and even when he thought that he was starting to lose his mind she had kept him grounded. Sure, he had crossed a line, and he knew how horrible it had been, but without her and the kid he was adrift in a sea of pain.

A bottle sloshed in his hand. Whiskey was his drug of choice at this time.  It was sloshing over the rim, and for once he couldn’t bring himself to care that it was making his baby’s seats all sticky. He took a long drag, narrowly avoiding a Prius in the right hand lane, the smoky flavor coating his mouth. His thoughts were swirling around his head, his vision swimming and the music blaring so loud he was surprised no one else could hear it.

It would figure that the music would fit the mood. Not that he had expected it not to. After all, that was the reason he had been kicked out, right? The damn music had driven him crazy. So of course it fit his mood perfectly, there was no reason for it not to. Music was freaking haunting him. Was it haunting him? Had he gotten cursed? He didn’t know, and he wasn’t sure he wanted to know. He was on this road trip down the Highway to Hell, a one way trip with no chance for reprieve. He didn’t want a reprieve, most likely didn’t deserve one.

Wasted! Losing control!” he shouted out the window as he took an exit off the highway. He sped through a stop sign and off down the country road. Fields whizzed by, small farmhouses lit with warm lights, the occasional car, none of it really registering in his mind. Out of the corner of his eye he could almost see someone in the passenger side seat.

Wasted! I’m going insane!” he yelled with a smile. He brought the bottle back to his lips and took a deep drag, car swerving into the other lane. He tugged on the steering wheel, and ended up over-correcting. The wheels kicked up dirt from the side of the road as he slid off the road. He pressed down on the breaks and eased her to a stop, stroking the dash after putting her in park.

“Sorry baby,” he told her, his head thumping against the steering wheel. Really, no matter how much pain he was in, it was no excuse to abuse his baby. “I’m not myself lately. You would think I would treat you better, wouldn’t you? I bet Sammy took good care of you when I wasn’t around, didn’t you Sammy?”

He turned to look at his constant companion but the passenger side was empty. He panicked; sure he had seen his brother sitting there moments ago, his silent shadow occupying his normal seat. His hands reached out, running over liquor stained leather, to press against the cool passenger seat. No one had been sitting there; it had all been in his mind. His jaw tightened.

“Fuck!” he yelled, straightening and throwing open the driver’s side door, feeling suddenly claustrophobic. The metal walls of his baby were compressing in on him, the metal suffocating him with pressure. He scrambled out of the car and away from the empty place inside his home. “Fuck. Fuck, fuck fuck!”

~Wasted! I wish I was dead. ~

The bottle of whiskey tumbled from his hand, as he skittered down the embankment. His stomach roiled and he barely had time to catch his breath before its contents were expelled from his body.


 

Chapter 19
Tags: big bang '11, do you want the truth or something beaut, fanfiction, supernatural
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