Fic title: Do You Want the Truth or Something Beautiful?
Author name: vampireifurita
Artist name: mulanreflection
Genre: Gen, Wincest
Pairing: Dean/Sam, some background Castiel/Sam, Castiel/Crowley
Word count: 26,732
Warnings: horror, disturbing imagery, violence
Summary: After Sam sacrificed himself to save the world; Dean had gone to Lisa just as he’d been asked. Things had been just fine until he started hearing music that no one else could hear and things just go downhill from there. With no one to turn to, bear witness to man lost at sea, in the throes of grief and unexplainable music that haunts him much like the memories of his brother.
He wasn’t that hard to find, and part of him wasn’t that surprised. This doctor of questionable intent had done several years in a psychiatric hospital way back in the late 50s. Sure the old codger was well into his seventies now, but that didn’t mean he didn’t still practice his craft. Dean was sure that the old man had been servicing clients well for many years since his “retirement.” He was strangely at peace, the music looping through his head oddly soothing, regardless of what he was about to do. He had been singing under his breath all day.
“All of me, why not take all of me? Can’t you see I’m no good without you?” he sang as he approached the sketchy looking building in the slum of some southern city. He would never be the same when he got out of here, and he had taken care of all his pressing business before setting up his appointment.
Three days ago he had visited a lawyer. He made sure that the Impala would end up legally in Lisa’s hands. He had called a trucking service after securing all the paperwork and arranged for the car to be picked up while he was in his appointment.
“Take my arms, I’ll never use them. Take my lips, I wanna lose them,” he sang. The note in his pocket was pressing down on his heart, a painful reminder that he would be hurting someone that cared about him with this procedure. The door opened and he smiled at the suspicious looking woman standing in the doorway. “Your goodbyes, left me with eyes that cry, how can I get along without you?”
Rolling her eyes, she opened the door wide for him. “You took the part that once was my heart, why not take all of me?” he sang as she led him up the stairs to the operating room. The doctor greeted him at the door.
“It’s a pleasure to meet you in person Mr. Winchester,” the old man told him, shaking his hand.
“The pleasure is all mine doc,” he replied, smile on his face starting to hurt. His brother hovered uncertainly next to him, eyes filling with tears.
“This is certainly the first time I’ve met a patient that was actually happy about getting the procedure,” the doctor told him. “Do come in, I’m sure we have a few things to discuss before we get started.”
“Just a few things doc,” he told the old man, stepping past him into the operating room. The place was absolutely filthy, and the tools would hardly be sterile, but none of that really mattered. Sam followed behind him, hovering mere inches away, clearly wishing he could reach out and touch him, wishing he could change his mind.
“Let’s get the formalities out of the way then,” the doctor said as he pulled up a chair. “I understand that you would like for someone to pick you up after the procedure.”
“Yeah, my friend Castiel,” he told the doctor. He pulled out his cell phone and handed it over. “I’ve deleted every contact except for him. There’s also a note in my pocket here for him.” He pulled the folded note out of his pocket and handed it to the doctor as well. “Please make sure he reads that before you tell him what we’ve done, and especially before you let him take me anywhere.”
“Of course, I will make sure to do that, Pricilla, did you get all that written down?” he asked as he turned towards his nurse. She nodded and showed him her notes. The doctor nodded that everything was in order.
“Before we get started, do you have any questions for me?” the doctor asked, getting up and guiding him to the operating table.
“This will get rid of both the hallucinations and the voices, right?” he asked as he laid back on the table, allowing the doctor and his nurse to start strapping him down.
“Most definitely. Frontal lobotomies are notorious for ceasing these types of brain functions. I do hope I remembered to tell you that this will be irreversible, and that you will end up in a very vegetable like state,” the doctor assured him.
“Yeah, you said that when I called you about this whole procedure,” he replied. “That’s what I’m hoping for.”
“Well, I’ve certainly never heard that before,” Pricilla muttered.
“Well, trust me honey, if you saw or heard half the things I have in the past few months, you’d be just as eager to get yourself lobotomized,” he replied cheekily, feeling more like himself than he had since… well, since dad had died.
“I’ll take your word for it,” she said, strapping down his arm.
He looked over to Sam, who wasn’t really Sam, Sam was down in the cage and that was exactly why he was doing this. A lobotomy would destroy his mind, would make him forget all that he had lost, would keep him from suffering for all of eternity meant for two that was only occupied by one. He smiled at the crying figment of his imagination, almost sad for the poor thing, this would be the last time he would see him and remember who he was and what he meant to him.
“Hey doc, do you mind if I sing while you’re putting me under?” he asked, his eyes never leaving the shivering, crying mess that was his brother.
“Go for it son, it will probably be the last time you’ll do it.”
~All of me, why not take all of me?
Can’t you see I’m no good without you?
Take my arms, I’ll never use them.
Take my lips, I wanna lose them.
Your goodbyes left me with eyes that cry
How can I go on without you?
You took the part that once was my hear
Why not take all of me? ~